Well, just my thoughts in general these days. It is funny how life can spin you around from one thing to the next. Right now my life in many ways resembles my life twenty or more years ago. I have been very studious about it.It only occurred to me a few weeks ago, how much my life right now mirrors my life back then. Constantly looking to see what the lesson or lessons I need to remember so I do not find myself in that place again! So many of the circumstances are like a dream from yesterday, faces and names have changed, but the similarities to that point are unmistakable One thing I know for sure, is that I cannot and will not repeat it, just fix what I missed.
I do know that I have changes so much. I am not as timid, still quiet and laid back, but not afraid to be myself! Even if being me costs a friendship or any kind of relationship. Maybe it isn't about learning anything other than the fact that I am different, even better than I was before. My confidence is greater, my love is stronger, and my outlook on life in general is so much better than it was. I am happy and comfortable being alone, but not denying that I will one day soon will be in love again. This time it will be better than ever! Knowing more about myself and what I like and don't like helps. But even more so, the fact that desperation is not part of my vocabulary anymore. Knowing I am okay by myself, makes it easier to see things more clearly and rake my time, before those rose colored glasses get in the way.
The bottom line is that learning to love is easy, learning to trust is the hard part. Truthfully, how can u really love in a pure way, when u cannot trust in a pure way. No strings attached, no drama, no guilt or rules, that is the hard part. Learning to trust is easier when you realize, that if some one fails you, it is okay. It is not a reflection of you, it is only a reflection of the person who betrays that trust. And guess what? That is the one who should be doing the soul searching! We must learn to trust, we must learn to love, it is in all of our best interests to do so. We not only grow as individuals by doing this, we grow as a race, when we learn to give the best of ourselves to our self of course, and then to others (whether they deserve it or not), and to the planet or world we live in. Just remember, even we do not deserve the kindness others show us, it is not about deciding who deserves it. If it was based on this, none of us would ever see an act of kindness, it is about the one smart enough to know, the act of kindness is what we deserve to give ourselves. When we learn to be kind to ourselves first ( knowing we don't always deserve it), it becomes easier to be kind to everyone and everything else, no matter what.
Hoping you are having a wonderful weekend! Wishing you a great week as well. As always sending out my love to you and yours, until we meet here again, diana
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