Diana's Wonderworks

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Sunday, January 16, 2011

New Pictures, Yes The Art I Promised!

Okay, I am back. It really has been a while, again. Been so busy working on art, all has fallen behind. I admit it, I am addicted to making art! You know how hard it is to keep an addict away from their addiction. Not sure how long the blog will be, can't decide4, because I finally uploaded all my new stuff, and it is quite a bit of pictures. Okay, here are some new paintings I made to replace sold items.

Now to go with these, I made a big one to go with as well. Once they were all hung together, I decided that it would look better with another small one. I have a picture of the big one, but as I am looking, I now realize that I must get pictures of the other small one. Guess I will have to update you later on that one. Here is the big one, I believe (since it is at the gallery and not here), it is a 16" x 20" canvas. All of these are done in acrylics, very tedious, but so much fun to make. They are also very time consuming, about one day for each small one and three days on the big one.

Hope you like them. I love them, so colorful and just fun to look at. I do have more pictures to share, but since it is late, I am going to save them for tomorrow.

So far no big lottery win. I am still waiting for my turn. For all of you who have been lucky enough to win a large lottery, go you! Happy for you, and hoping it sticks with you, nothing sadder, than seeing some one win, than in a few years they are broke again. This is going to be a great year, that is my vote anyway, lots of love to you all, diana

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Adventures In The Smokies!

Off we go on another adventure in The Smokies. Going back just about a week, the adventure begins on Saturday. I was leaving the Gallery and when I went to warm up my car, it would not start. It would click, not a series of clicks, just one click and then nothing. Over and over I tried to get her to start, but she was not having it. Two different people tried to jump start her for me, but no go. I called a friend of mine, and she was amazingly on her way that direction anyway, which was not ordinary at all. I called my boyfriend and after no answer for several tries, I finally got a call back from him. He was unable to answer, because his boss called to let him know, his shift at work had been canceled ( good thing too, because calling in to work is next to criminal, could lead to firing, very severe policies)! I texted another girlfriend as well to let her know my dilemma.

So the first girl friend shows up like two hours later, and it is cold temperatures are dropping and the snow is beginning to fall. We try to jump start her again, no avail. SO, off to my home to pick up my boyfriend, and off to the auto parts store for help. The man in the store seems to think it is a short, and my boss thought it was the solenoid. Back to work we go to find the short, one bare wire was found near the starter, we taped it up and still she would not start. The time is after nine pm, and we are all cold and tired and hungry, so we decide to call it a night. So, we go and spend the night at a hotel, my girlfriend works there and was forced to stay the night due to severe weather approaching, and her boss not wanting anyone to call in the next morning.

The nest morning we got up and went back to the auto parts store and purchased the solenoid for the car. We drove back to my stranded baby, and jumped the solenoid, and low and behold she started right up. After dropping off my friends car we returned home and he replaced the solenoid. She ran great!

Jump forward to this weekend, last night she started giving me grief, I went to start her up, and at first crank, just a click again. My heart dropped, I cranked her again, and she started right up. Well, that got me going, so I wondered, if the starter was also bad. Back to the auto parts store we go. The guy at the counter affirms my fears and says, normally they recommend you change both, well better late than never, right? So, I buy the starter and off we go. She is starting fine, and we decide it can wait till my day off, which is Sunday! She ran great last night and even this morning. At lunch my other friend, whom I had texted the week before, shows up at work and says she got my text that the car was not starting, too funny, I explained that was last Saturday, not today! So, she stayed and hung out for the afternoon, and when I am getting ready to go, I went out to start my car, take a guess what. you got it, she would not start, over and over I tried and she was not cranking. So, this girl friend offers to take me to the house to retrieve my boyfriend so he can fix the starter. On the way back to my car, my boss calls and he has found some one to fix the starter. We get back to the shop, and like 20 minutes later, she starts up like a charm! It was an adventurous day, and I laughed through it all, I had more fun today, than I have had in ages. Good news, my boss paid for the labor and I got to hang out with my girl. Plus I met two really nice people! The man who fixed the car came with his wife, and it turns out she is a landscape painter. I told her to bring some of her stuff to the gallery, if it is good, we could finally have another new artist to showcase. All and all, a great day, anyway, no news on the lottery just yet. Hoping you are having a wonderful weekend, where ever you are. Sending out my love as always, hoping your holidays are safe and beyond your wildest dreams, diana

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Thursday, October 14, 2010

Dental Blues!

Well, today I went to the dentist as planned. It being a clinic it was very time consuming, especially since I had an x-ray done and only a short consultation. I went to my appointment at the time given 9:00 am, unfortunately when they gave me the appointment they did not mention that they book everyone at 9 am. I arrived at ten minuted till nine and found I was the last of the morning appointments to arrive. The dentist does not show up until nine thirty am, and they don't even start taking people back there until ten fifteen. That is one thing I will never understand about clinics, why have people come in at a certain time, and the doctors don't sow up until later. I mean really, I may not have a doctorate degree, but does that mean my time is less valuable than a person who does?

Anyway, not only is he late, but we further have to wait when he does get there, which is even more ridicules! Anyway, at eleven fifteen am I finally get to go back there to see the dentist. At ten forty-five I had to get my x-ray of my tooth in question. I am explaining it this way because I do have a point. When I get back there, last as I explained, he tells me he does not feel comfortable taking the tooth. Now, to me, if he was that uncomfortable with it, couldn't he have taken me back earlier, to let me know. The deal is, my tooth had a root canal years ago, and luckily for me this dentist said, my old dentist did an exceptional job on it. What I did not know is that when the root is taken the tooth dies. Now, a dead tooth becomes extremely brittle and like a twig can and will snap when you put pressure on it, ex: putting pliers on it to pull it. What will happen is when you try to pull the tooth, generally the piece they are holding onto, to pull it out, well it will break off. So, in other words he said he would do it if I wanted too, be it would be painful, and tie intensive, and at some point would require him to be digging the tooth out of my gums! Now, raise your hand if this sounds like a good plan! I am assuming you did not raise your hand, unless you are very much into masochism.

Okay, so the good news is that the tooth is not infected, because the previous dentist did sure a stand up job. Also, good news, this dentist said that my gums were very healthy and I did not need to take it out, immediately. He recommended, I go to an oral surgeon to have the work done, when I was indeed ready to have it done. I am so very pleased that my day did not end with me babying a hole in my gum. Just a little miffed that my time was so stupidly wasted. I think it would have been appropriate, to pull me back for this five minute consultation, and let me on my merry way. It does not seem to me, that this would have insulted the other patients in any way, and it would have allowed me to go on with my day, doing something productive. By, the look of stress on his face, it could have gotten him off the hook sooner as well.

Enough of the fun for today, hope your day is going great. Sending out my love to you and yours, diana

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Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Glorious Sunflowers!

Well, I can officially say that I have finally finished my Sunflower painting. I think I am going to name it Glorious Sunflowers. It turned out beautifully, I hope you like it. The pictures on this blog were taken not too long ago, and I am so very happy with the outcome. The sad part will be letting it go, got to sell it, need the money. It has been a long journey with this canvas. I started it about 4 years ago, and ran out of the colors, mostly the yellow. This canvas has moved with me over and over again, waited for me while I worked two jobs at a time, just to be able to afford the paints, and finally for me to dig it out of the closet, and complete the process.

The original plan, at the place I lived at when I started it, was for it to go on the wall in my dining room. I had some Shaker ladder back chairs. I had planned on re-seating the chairs, with red, yellow and green fabric. The Flowers were to look over my table and guests, that was the dream. My room mate at the time, stole my chairs and many other things from me. For the above mentioned reason, I no longer live at that address. Where I am now, there is no dining room, and definitely no chairs and table to make it happen. So many people who have seen me working on this painting over the last few weeks, have loved this canvas. Everyone says they want to buy it, or knows some one who will. One of my friends, is going to give me an opportunity to put this canvas in a gallery, through a friend of hers. So, keep your fingers crossed, I would love to sell it and have money to buy more supplies to make more, and then sell more. The ultimate catch twenty-two for me!

Now, on the job front, I received a call today. I have a job interview tomorrow, it is a good job for me. At least that is what I think, the universe may have other plans. At two-thirty tomorrow, I will be going through the interview process. I can only hope all goes well. Considering the luck I have been having, I am not going to let myself get too excited. But, it is good and hopeful news for sure. Tonight is also, lottery night, you never know, maybe tonight will be my night! Keep your fingers crossed!

Now, I am going to get to work on some drawings, I think and tomorrow I need to get the jewelry out of the car and begin that process of pricing and designing stands or racks for displaying the jewelry. With any luck at all, these can be in the shop, by the beginning of next week. So much work, so little time. The drawings, I am hoping to do are for some holiday (Halloween for now) cards to be put on my Zazzle account. In my dream world, hopefully I can knock a couple of them out tonight and in the morning. It all just depends on how creative my brain is going to be. After spending weeks on the painting, it may take a while to get back into the swing of things. Sending you my love, where ever you may be, diana

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Monday, October 11, 2010

Job Ettiquette, Is It Dead?

Well, it really has been a minute. I did work on Friday and Saturday, and yesterday, it was all about recuperating. I could barely walk, blisters on the bottoms of my feet and hands swollen, it was a pampering day for me. Not a complaint, just an explanation for my absence. Hoping you had a great weekend! Anyway back to the title of this page. Just another little anecdote from my life. I was working at a banquet on Friday and Saturday, busy days for sure. If you have ever done banquets it is a busy job. All your costumers get seated at the same time, pretty much. And it is none stop running to take care of everyone! It is fun, time flies and for me it is work! In between meals, we were responsible for things like rolling silverware for the guests and cleaning tables and making iced tea, or coffee, or what ever the suitable beverage for the meal was. My story taks place while we were rolling silverware on Friday.

Several of us are sitting at these tables, and this young man starts to talk about tripping on acid, smoking weed, popping pills and getting drunk ( you know what I mean a very young man, early twenties). So, he gathers a few followers to the conversation, and they are all basically comparing notes and laughing it up about the drugs they take and things they have done when they are high. Finally, he tries to get me involved in the conversation, with a "What about you? What do you do for fun?" I replied that I have an occasional drink and I smoke cigarettes, which I need to quit smoking for sure. He cracks up, and says, "I bet you do more than that!" I smiled back at him and said "I have had my moments, but they are not to be shared here, there is a place and a time." He says back to me that he has had this conversation with the server in charge . I explained to him, that I was brought up differently, I liked this job and was not going to risk not getting to come back over a silly conversation, a conversation that was inappropriate for being at work, especially at a temporary job. This is an opportunity to present yourself in the best possible light, a chance to show this particular employer and the temporary service, what kind of an employee you really are. He looked at me like I just spanked him, and gave me some kind of snotty answer back. I said, look, do what you want, I just don't want in it. The head server pops up at this point and takes this young man and a few others at the table to do something else. As soon as he walks away, the young girl sitting next to me, lets out a big sigh and says to me " I am so glad you said something, thanks." I aid sure, I wasn't trying to be rude to him, but I wanted to be clear, that I was not going to be party in this conversation and why. She replied, "This is awkward for me, I work at the temporary service, I just came out to make some extra hours on my check. Now, I have to figure out if I should say something at the office or just let it go, like I am not the one that recruits. I just wanted to tell you appreciated you saying something to stop it!" To which I laughed, ironic,huh? I never said anything more to him, not my place and she wanted to be annonymo9us anyway. But, it just goes to show you, watch what you say and do, you never know who is watching or listening!

All my love to you all, have a great day, diana

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Sunday, October 3, 2010

Candles And Clouds!

What a peaceful day! Today it is cloudy out, one of those notorious fall days, that threatens, rain or snow, but really doesn't do much. The wind is cool and strong, and the windows are now three quarters of the way closed. In an effort to help keep the house at a nice cool temperature, I ran to all the rooms and lit a candle. The ceiling fans are off, nice fresh air gently flowing through the curtains and the romantic glow of candles all around! It is so wonderful. After this blog session, it is off to The Dome, by Steven King, and a wonderfully hot bubble bath to complete this tranquility I feel all around me. Then it will be off to painting more on the sunflower canvas and possibly some baking. Some wonderful fall baking to fill the house with warmth and wonderful aromatic scents! I could not ask for a more perfect day!

In the news, little joke, I did not win the lottery this weekend. I do have an appointment tomorrow with the clinic to get my tooth looked at. Hopefully that will go well, and I will be on the way to recovery. Time will tell. Mental note to myself, I need to get some more candles this week, fall is really here, and I love candles in the fall and winter, helps to heat the house and makes every room smell so great!

In other news, seems all the peeps (people in my life) are having a quiet weekend as well. My phone has been quiet all day, and I am looking forward to it staying that way for the rest of the night. Rest is in order and on the schedule! I do have a few ideas for some blogs, not sure when I will squeeze them in, but seeing as I have missed some days in the past, I guess this will make up for some of them. I do hope you are enjoying the weather where you are as much as I am. If not, take faith, tomorrow is another day, and another opportunity to make it special for you!

Tomorrow, I really have to go through my prints, hopefully there will be some sunshine, and get a few together, so I can send one into the art contest I told you about earlier this week. The deadline is tomorrow. So, I really do have to get busy. So much to do, I really need to get myself better organized, so I can make my goals happen. My new challenge for the week. I have been spreading myself way too thin. Time to accept that work may not happen as soon as I would like it to, and get busy working on the one thing that brings me joy! Working on my art and making money at it. Stick to one goal and make it happen. There are no maybes for me now,I have no choice. I have tried the conventional ways of doing work. But, because of my age and the economy, what worked before is not working now. New plans for a new day! I need to make time work for me, instead of me working to make time! I should know better, but when stress happens, logic seems to be the first thing to go. Panic sets in and rational thinking flies out the window! It is time to remake my life, the old ways are not relevant, new ways are the wave of the future. The sooner I get that stuck in my mind the better off I will be. The universe has finally beat it home, and my brain finally clicked. I get it.

Sending you my love, as always, diana

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Saturday, September 25, 2010

Art Is Food For The Soul!

I am still working on the sunflower painting, hopefully I will be done today or tomorrow. It should be obvious that I did not make it to the art show today. My tooth is killing me again, so I am trying to heal up, in the hopes that I can avoid another bill, and save the tooth. We shall see. So many things on my mind right now, so many choices before me, and not clear answers on which way to turn. Time is running out and choices will have to be made. The crazier it gets the more I immerse myself in my art. Both to keep myself calm and feel the happiness art brings me and to trigger those problem solving skills that are definitely right brain activities. Like art which is right brain, problem solving skills are also right brain. I can honestly say that my biggest obstacle is fear. I do not trust myself to make the right decision, it seems so many of my choices have led to more problems. I am tired now and am seeking relief. Unfortunately, that does not mean my struggles are over, wanting something and getting it are generally two different beasts!

At this point in my life caution is definitely the rule of the day. Impulsiveness, which has always been my way, is now retired, and that worries me as well. Because, the truth of it is that sometimes being impulsive can lead to good things. I feel like I am taking a huge exam, and this one could change my life forever, for good or ill. It is a timed test and time is running out, so a choice has to be made, and I do not know the right answer. Today I will paint, and hope, and pray that somehow in all of this I can find my answer, and that the answer I choose is the right one! Searching my soul, my heart and my mind, while I work to complete my newest artwork. I will work also to find the answer to the next path I choose in life. Wish me luck ( the good kind), I need it!

Time is ticking away at me, and I have lots to do before the sun sets for the day. The lottery jack pot is not mine as of yet, and I have been working on a thought to do some good in this world, while I can. I truly want to give back in some way, since money has ever been a hardship for me, I must find another way. A plan has been formulating in my mind for quite sometime, and I must fix on it and make it happen. As I work out the smaller details and move forward I will be sharing with you, it does have to do with charity, and there are several that are dear to my heart. I believe my choices are at hand, and my wishes for my destiny in art are not about me, but to help others with the gift I have been given. Send me your good will, and I will work hard on making you proud to know me. That I can promise! Sending you all my love, diana

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Sunday, September 19, 2010

Working For WonderWorks!

Wow, what a long week and weekend it has been! I have been at the Art Show in Pigeon Forge this weekend, it was really hot and humid outside! Cars, cars, cars, everywhere, old ones, new ones, beat up ones, polished ones, vintage cars, souped up cars, chopped cars, just so many cars it is not even easy to explain. This weekend was the Rod Run weekend, if you had not already guessed. If you have been here during Rod Run, you will know what I am talking about. If you haven't there really is nothing to compare it to, that I can explain, it is car craziness gone wild! Anyway, even with all the people out in force, I made no sales, so sad. After the last few days, I am beat!

Still trying to get rid of the abscessed tooth, still sore from working the banquets, and the girly thing has arrived as well. So, I am a sleepy girl for sure! Anyway, I did (as usual) meet some really fun people! There was one booth out there this weekend, father and son team, that made knives. The knives were so unique and really cool. He had knives made out of tire irons, crescent wrenches, railroad spikes, all kinds of remade items turned into knives, it was really cool. I love it when people take something with one use and turn it around into something completely different. They were a wonder to look at. I am ready for a day of relaxation, but I have tons of computer work to catch up on. I am going to do my best to pace myself, so that I can rest too. I know a lot of people have been calling the last few days, so I am sure my phone will be busy. It will have to be short and sweet however, too many of them and not enough time for all of them today, I am sorry to say. I have been so very busy lately, it is funny, I mean where does the time go?

I need to do some artwork today too, I am missing it. Been so very busy working on all kinds of other stuff, I have not had time to do my art. So some how, some way starting today and this week for sure, I am working on some art projects. I do feel the need to paint something, maybe a drawing too, not really sure yet. I guess it all depends on how well, the creative juices flow, and how well I can interpret them! No big lottery news, I am still the broke girl you all love and remember, but I have not given up my dream to win this year! Keep you posted as always. Now, off to some more rest, housework, artwork and whatever else I can do, and still have some relaxation in my day! All my love to you and yours today, have fun, rest, and above all stay safe, diana

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Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Smiling On The Inside!

Well, today I actually have a job to do. The Temp Service I signed up with is sending me to do banquet work today and tomorrow. Oh and on Monday I went to meet a man about a job as well, that one is sales, no pay commission only, better get my game on for that one if he calls. He did call yesterday to let me know I would not be hearing from him till Monday. Anyway, in the mean time, I have this banquet to serve at the next two days, and to make things just the right amount of fun, the Cosmos has decided that now would be a great time to have an abscessed tooth! It started last night, and I found a few penicillin to take, which helped me get some sleep last night, the joke is this morning, my face is swollen! The left side of my face and jaw is all puffy and it is making it hard to move my face, you know, like to smile and talk.

I actually find this hysterical, and only have two choices to laugh like a mad woman or cry. I have been trying to find a job so long, and finally get a little nibble and this is what I have to go through. It is crazy. Wish me luck, I can't call in or they won't send me to other work, and I can't go to the dentist, too broke for that. I have to hope beyond hope that I can get this tooth under control, until I can find some gainful employment. I hope that some how I can relay a smile at this job so that they think I am friendly, how much does that stink! Having a server who looks like she would rather be some where else! Which I do even now, and I am at home still! If I knew some one with pliers, I would let them rip it out for me, it hurts so bad right now!

So, the goal for my day is paint a smile on, if I can't make my mouth make on naturally and hope for the best. My eyes are smiling, but most people are not observant enough for that. They tend to go the obvious route and look at your smile, hopefully I can pull it off!

If I have enough energy and anything exciting to share I will update you later today, otherwise my goals after work will be simple. Probably more brushing of the teeth, mouthwash and maybe a nap to get myself rested to deal with this infection. If I am lucky I will be able to do some artwork, that was my goal yesterday and I got nothing done, my face hurt too much to concentrate on anything! Hopefully today will be better, pray hard if you do, or wish my happy thoughts if you don't I need it! Lots of love to you all, hoping you are having a good day, diana

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Sunday, September 12, 2010

Running At Mach Speed!

How do I do it? I am running like a crazy person, just trying to keep up with my own life. Honestly, right now I am exhausted, I think I need a nap! If I nap, how do I catch up? Ever have one of those minutes in your life? Wow, what a day, what a weekend. So, sorry to be away, been at the art show for two days. It was not very financially lucrative however. But, as always, I meet lots of good people and learn all kinds of new stuff. I did sell one print, the one posted actually. I almost sold a braided bracelet, but as luck would have it, the one day I don't bring my work basket with me, some one actually wanted a special order, hummmm. She said she would come back on Saturday, but she was a no show! I won't do that again, have to make sure to bring everything next weekend! This weekend was The Shades of the Past weekend, it is a car show here in Pigeon Forge. It is the smaller of the two that come here, but by no means is it a small turn out. Town is packed, and most of these folks will stay over till next weekend when Rod Run, does their thing next weekend. Lots of old and new cars, mostly of the muscle car, and antique era, but there are also tons of great looking cars of every variety, including hand made and newer versions of cars and trucks. It is a wonder for the eyes for sure. If you can't find at least 10 cars you don't wish you had at home, you are not looking!

So, I am gearing up for next weekend, lots to do, plus I have to do a temporary banquet on Wednesday and Thursday! I am feeling too plump for my clothes, way to much time without a job and not enough money to keep me running around like I am used to. My friend Sherry became a grandmother again this weekend, another beautiful grand-daughter, congratulations to her! Just checked my lottery for this weekend, no big win yet, but I am not giving up my dream to win it this year! Today, I have been busy cooking and baking. I made three pans of lasagna, a cake, sausage gravy and biscuits, cut up some melon for later and did three loads of laundry, plus did the shopping and filled the gas tank, and filled and ran the dishwasher. I am tired and sore right now. I need to rest for a little bit. Then I am going to list a few more things in my shops and do some more artwork! Got a lot done today and need to do a lot more. Wish me luck on all accounts.

Have to catch up on my blogging as well, I have been neglecting it, so much going on lately. Guess I will have to do some extra blogging today and this week to make up for my slacking. Hoping you all had a fun filled weekend. Sending out my love to you all, diana

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Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Butterflies, Soaring High!

Well, as promised, I am finished with the butterfly drawing. Not exactly what I wanted, but still very pretty. I am posting the pictures as promised, I am putting on more than a couple, just so I can show you some close ups of the butterflies, they look so nice. Amazing really considering they were done with marker! No job offers yet, still holding out hope on that. Haven't won the lottery yet, and I have to rush and see if I can still use this picture for the Lupus fundraiser. But, first things first, for those of you waiting patiently to see what I have been working on for weeks. Keep in mind the paper is 18" x 24", and each butterfly is over 2 " square, or some where close to that, up to 3" square. Nice weather out today, stormy earlier in the day and not as hot as it has been lately. Looking forward to another cool night with fresh air coming in the windows! My favorite kind of weather! Lots of love to you all, would love to hear your thoughts on anything said, or on the drawing I worked so hard to finish. Love, diana

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Friday, September 3, 2010

Back In The Saddle Again!

So, I disappeared for a few days, lots to catch up on. Friday, I waited all day to get news on my car to share with you, finally at 5:15 pm it came. The call I have been waiting two weeks for. Rick (the service station owner) says " I think we got it." They close at 6 pm so I had to call a cab right way, just to get to his station, before closing time.The first cab service I called was in shift change, so they would not have any drivers available till 6 pm or later! Ouch, panic starts to creep in, so I ask the lady if everyone in town is in shift change, and she starts to hyme and haw around. Finally she suggests a man, who is starting his own cab service, just an older man, retired, trying like so many of us to find a way to make some money to get by. She gives me his number and he just happens to be about 5 minutes from my house! Huge sigh of relief!

Off we go to get my Ford, the shop is only about 7 minutes from my house. We talk about how his business is going and talk about my adventure with the repairs on my car. Talking is really so much faster than typing, for me anyway! It cost me $10 dollars to get there and off he went. We find Rick and he starts up the car for me, she is running great, no leaks or anything. I was so very happy, I asked him how much and he says nothing for now. He wants me to take her out and drive her for the weekend and make sure we got her right this time! What a relief (now you understand why I have not been on here), so off I go to give her a chance to run errands all weekend, and make sure she is going to be okay! She did great by the way. I made up for all the grocery shopping I have not been able to do and got the cupboards full again, went and grabbed a bite to eat away from home, sent out eBay orders that needed to go out, tons of stuff that needed to be done. It was nice, even had time to visit with some friends, I had a good weekend, it is so nice, not being grounded any more.

In other news, I did not get the big jack pot in the lottery ( but in a way, it was just as nice to get my car back). I have not been online all weekend, so I have not been able to do any listings online, that is a job for today. I did not do the art show, so busy catching things up at home. I am STILL working on the butterfly drawings, and I am doing house work and laundry today. Plus, I need to put applications online today, and renew my quest to find gainful employment, more on that later. Hoping you had a happy, fun and safe weekend! Sending out my love, as always, diana

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Monday, August 30, 2010

Seeing The Future!

Well, the new day has risen and a new week begins! Sometimes I wish I could see the future and know that it is all going to be okay. This is one of those times. Still no word on my car, no way to get a job and tomorrow, I will have to call to break my lease, giving me 30 days to get my things in order. It is a scary moment for sure. My hope still remains, that by some miracle, I will be able to remain in the home I have made for myself, at least until the lease ends in the spring. Based on the clouds in my life however, rain looks to be coming my way. The forecast is bleak. Now, I can hope that this storm will pass me, as many do in the real world, but the signs are definitely pointing in another direction. So hope I can, but getting the storm gear ready is not just an option. I must be prepared for the worst. That idea is exhausting, but a necessity no matter how tired I am from it.

Wishing to see past the clouds is a normal reaction to a stressful situation, but a frustrating one as well. Because the truth is, that no matter what my heart says. It is not like a movie, or a book, where I can read a head and see the whole picture in clarity. Gut feelings are a wonderful asset, and my gut tells me all will be well, actually better than well. But, when I open my eyes, I am still surrounded by clouds. When I close them again, I can still feel the happiness, but I cannot see that cloudless day, or what it looks like, or in what way I will feel the joy. The fear of the unknown still prevails, and it constantly wrestles with that feeling of hope and well being, making my mind a battle of wills. Who will prevail in the end, hope must, because the alternative is despair. That is not an option, so daily I fight those dark forces, and wait for the day, that this too shall pass.

Today, I will work some more on the drawing for the butterfly (Lupus) fundraiser, and hope to get good news about my car. Good news that it is ready to be picked up and that the cost is not going to wipe out what little money I have set back. I can hope, that once my car is returned that a job is forthcoming in an asap fashion. Delays and inaction, serve to create fear in my life and the sooner I can refocus on using that energy to be productive, the easier it will be to lift the heaviness from my heart. I am ready for that day, beyond ready. Internal peace is my hope for the next week and month or longer. I am ready for a moment to reflect on all of this, and put it to rest. Weariness tugs at my heart and soul, all I need is a good nap! A break in it all to rest and re-balance. Hope you are having a happy Monday, sending out my love to you as always, diana

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Saturday, August 28, 2010

Laughter Is The Best!

Today was a day full of laughter! All the way around, all the new people I met and the ones I already knew, were about making light of a heavy day. It was a great way to spend a day that could have been a total bummer. It was hot out, barely any customers, and now it looks like rain. I had one $5 sale, and otherwise no business. It was so much fun, just talking about life, people and fun experiences. I have not laughed that much in a long time. Great day! No big lottery win last night, just in case you are wondering. For those of you who have missed it, my goal for the year is to win the big pot! Wish me luck!

I did learn a few pointers on working with Ebay, so I plan to get a page set up there and see how that works, I am game, especially since I still do not have wheels. Got to do what I can to make an income, anything, to bring a rainbow into this cloudy moment in my life. Always looking for the silver lining, I don't know any other way to do things. Also, hoping that if I can manage to get a job this week, that somehow I can work it out to do the art show next weekend. I know I haven't had a lot of luck at it, but I am hoping the holiday weekend will be better! Got make money some how! I made a couple of new friends today and that was really nice.

Hoping to soak in a tub next and just relax and enjoy a quiet evening at home, while I still have one! Not sure how long that will last and when my next moment of quiet time will be available, so tonight is all about down time! Maybe a cocktail and some drawing, mostly just enjoying my own company! Hey, it could be worse. Hoping where ever you are, you enjoyed your day as much as I did and am going to. Still working on the butterfly drawing, it is going to have many butterflies on it, and it is big, so It is going to take a minute! But as soon as it is done I will share it with you, I promise.

Well, a funny moment to share. I met a new person today, his name was Kenny. Really nice guy, and as we were talking he mentioned that he has been called a twink! Now, I am new to this term and had to ask. As the story goes, another young man (gay), mentioned to him,that he thought Kenny was a twink. So, I asked, what is a twink? He replied that in the gay community a twink is a gay man who is young and likes to look good. Kenny has a thing for hair gel, so because he takes pride in his appearance, the other man thought he was a twink. Which I laughed about, because, during our conversation, it became very apparent, Kenny is not a gay man at all. So I began calling him a twinkie, not sure what to call him now! He is just a guy who likes to look nice, standing joke of the day. I met a twinkie!Hope you have a wonderful night, lots of quiet time for me ahead, sending out my love to you, as always, diana

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Friday, August 20, 2010

Sunshine Is Back, Cloudy Outside!

Yesterday was a busy day for me. Did a bunch of errands, and then came home and did some stuff for my girlfriend, but mostly worked around the house and worked on me. Today, I have couple of errands to run, than I will be back home and do some more work around the house and more work on me! Went to bed feeling so happy and calm. That is good news considering all the stress lately! I slept well, and feel rested today. Found some Oracle cards in the book store, never heard of them. Part of my spiritual journey has been about reconnecting with my psychic abilities, some how I lost them on the way to madness! I think at some point I was having a hard disconnecting others feelings fro my own and the pain became overwhelming for me. So, one day I just shut it all down. The truth is I miss them, I make better decisions with them on, and I am now learning to reconnect with myself again, as well as learning how to separate those feelings from others. It is hard to explain if you do not have these feelings or senses.Most people can relate to not feeling whole, it happens to everyone at one point or another in life. That is how I feel when I am disconnected from my spiritual gifts, because in a way I am disconnected from myself. One thing I know, you can't hide from who you are for long, it is destructive.

For me having these gifts is like having a built in navigator ( which I don't have, lol, get lost real easy), this navigator helps me make the right choices for myself and guides me in how to relate and communicate with others as well. You can see how this is a plus in many ways! The downside was being able to separate my feelings from others, if I sense sadness, than I might become sad and not know why. So many people send out such strong signals and, they stick to me, best way I can explain it. I have to be very proactive in shaking off the excess. That way I can be real about how I feel. That is the hard part. Not sure if any of this makes sense to anyone but me, guess I have to be happy that it makes sense to me and I can do something about it. So, it appears that along with my journey to be an artist I am now on a full on journey to being the best me possible in the spiritual arena as well. I am confident that, it will all lead to better things all around for me, and in helping other people deal with things as well. It has always been my ability to help people with their problem, this just means I will be better at it. It definitely has been a WOW period for me.

Still need a job, and still looking. No big lottery win for me last night, so maybe tonight will be my night. If not, I do have a lot on my plate for now, and I feel it will all lead to great things. Got a lot to do, need to get ready, missed you yesterday, sorry about that. Hope you had a wonderful Friday and that today is the icing on the cake! Lots of love to you all, smile, diana

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Thursday, August 19, 2010

Fighting Fear And Loss Of Trust!

Well, today started off much better in so many ways. I got some extra sleep, much needed after all the lack of it the last week or so. Got out and picked up a few newspapers and am set on a game strategy for tomorrow. I have some household errands to run, and Avon orders to deliver, and need to drop off a few resumes as well. Trying not to let my anxiety (fear of what will happen tomorrow), overwhelm me is a new thing for me. Most of my life, I have had this problem and did not realize what it was. After the last major upheaval in my life, when I did seek some medicinal help, I found out what it was. A doctor I went to diagnosed me as having anxiety, never knew it, never really knew what anxiety was. I always thought it was like depression, and I knew I was not depressed, I thought I was stressed out! But, she was kind enough to explain anxiety for me and I understood. For many years, since then I have been very successful at controlling it, understanding the nature of what it was helped me to get a handle on it. I feel much freer of fear and stress, just knowing it is my mind creating every worst possibility and letting it scare me to insanity.

After much thought and analysis, I came to the realization that I cannot change my minds ability to to see all the variables of what could happen next. Nor did I want to make my brain stop working the way it did, I like being able to figure out the possibilities and my options, and what the best odds are for me. In my mind that is a good ability to have. So, the next step was to reprogram my brain not to go into fear mode, which I believe was the basis for the anxiety. Fear is not a positive emotion to have, when fear takes over rational decision making goes out the window. Rational thought is what keeps me grounded. It has taken a few days to really get control over those fears, and it is still a daily struggle in many ways. But, I have made up my mind to do all I can to fix the mess I am in, and also prepare myself to the possibility that no matter my best efforts, I could lose everything I know. That is a sobering thought, and that thought alone is what compels me to work as hard as I can not to let that happen. Many times in my life, despite my best efforts, thing went in a direction I did not want. As much as I hated it, things worked out well and all led to new adventures, new acquaintances, and really a new awareness of me and the goals I have in my life now. So much has changed, and although parts of me still mourns the loses, the majority of me is amazed at how much I have survived, and how well things have worked out!

Well, that being said, nothing new today. The lottery did not pick my numbers, yet! I do not have a job offer, yet! I am still warding off the fear demon, but getting more successful everyday. Learning to really love and appreciate those that are reaching out to me, just to cheer me up from day to day. Looking forward to the end of this period of madness, and another new chapter full of new beginnings. Hoping you are having a wonderful day, all my love to you, diana

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